I haven't journaled for a while and a lot has happened in my life. My son turned 3 today. We had a great big birthday party yesterday. It was at a park and I rented a bounce house... I am trying as hard as I can to not make his birthdays 'food based' like everyone else's seem to be in my family. A downside to that is that the adults don't stay long and they are bitchy. Oh well, the kids have a great time running and playing and bouncing. Not just sitting in a restaurant eating. We did have a cookout but it was burgers, hot dogs, chicken legs, chips, watermelon and of course the birthday cake. Happy Birthday to my most wonderful blessing from God. :)
I have been seeing a counselor and a dietician for almost 2 months now (every other week) they are tracking my weight and my food choices and creating a papertrail to show the surgeon in case I decide on Bariatric Surgery. I haven't decided to do the surgery, I just want to find out what my deal is. I did great the 3 weeks before my last weigh in and still gained 2 more pounds. The scale just keeps going up. I haven't binged in a month but I get fatter and fatter every day. So, my mom is talking to me 2 weeks ago and mentions that as a baby I was lactose and gluten intolerant. I think to myself, "self, that sounds like something to tell the dietician". So 2 weeks ago at my appointment as I am crying that my weight is going up no matter how hard I try, I tell her about my intolerances that I had as an infant. Her eyes got HUGE. She smiled WIDE. Then she clapped her hands and said "Now THAT answers a LOT of questions!!!" I was immediately put on a gluten free diet. (everything has gluten, by the way..) and for 2 weeks I have been researching and pre planning meals and pre-prepping and cooking meals and eating gluten free (except for a couple times when I misread a label...) I feel FANTASTIC. My clothes are looser, I can clean myself after going to the bathroom, I can walk comfortably, I can breathe comfortably, I wake up happy and not tired, My heartburn is gone, I feel like I am living. Most of all I am no longer hungry all of the time!!!! You see, the gluten causes problems with my brush villi in my small intestines and causes a separation in the tight junctions of my cell wall. This causes my nutrients to pass through and the bad stuff to enter my body. Gluten is basically poisoning me! My body was hungry for nutrients constantly!!! The more wheat bread and wheat pasta and all of my healthy stuff that i ate, the worse my symptoms were. I cannot process wheat, rye, barley or malt. I haven't had fast food in almost 2 weeks, I ate at the chinese buffett twice. Once for (you guessed it!) a family birthday get together and another time because I ate there at the birthday get together and didn't get sick. I only ate rice noodles and picked my own hibachi grill items and sauces so I knew what was in it, fish and white rice with watermelon for dessert. I was full, but never sick. I can't eat anything else there. I tried the second time and askied what was in the stuffed mushrooms I loved so much and they said cheese.. I asked if there was bread of any kind and she said just cheese, crab and shrimp and spices. So I ate them and was sick as a dog all afternoon from it. Come to find out after researching on the web, that imitation crab meat has fillers with gluten. Now I know... That's just how it's gonna have to be until I have done this for a while. Trial and error. But for the most part I only eat at home and I cook all of my own food. It's hard work but it is so worth it to not feel hungry and sick ALL OF THE DAMN TIME!!!! Thank God for my counselor that sent me to my dietician who has put a light at the end of my tunnel. I can't wait to weigh in on wednesday.
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