Quantity vs Quality

I struggled with recovery this afternoon. Of course... that's why it's recovery...  Anyway, I waited to eat wayyy too long.  I hadn't had a thing to eat by almost 11:30am and although my resolve was in place, I could feel it weakening. I decided to go home for lunch and just figure it out then.  Then I realized my house still has too many no~no foods to be able to make a quick, sensible decision.  So then I decided to go to Subway, got almost there and decided, no.. better go to the store and buy one of those frozen vegetarian meals. Then got almost there and decided to turn towards the fast food place next door to the store. I kept trying to justify my behavior.  One more day won't matter.  I'm too hungry.  Tomorrow I won't skip breakfast.  SO on and so on.....    AAAACCCKKKKK!  STOP!!!!   So, I went to Subway.  Once inside the Subway, I had to make another decision. What to eat.  I usually get the $5 footlongs. (Quantity) OK, I totally realize that is defeating the whole purpose of going to subway.  So, I listened to the business man at the front of the line order a 6 inch sub.  6 inches.  Would that even begin to fill me up?  (Quantity... always worried about getting enough)  So, as everyone in front of me ordered I realized that A. none of them were overweight and all of them ordered 6 inch sandwiches.  I realized I needed to order a 6 in., then my mind got all looney.  I was mad.  Really, an irrational anger that all of these people were making it impossible for me to justify buying a huge sandwich.  But I did it. I didn't skip the cheese or eat all veggies, I did ask for only one thin line of lite mayo and got baked Lays and no drink.  It actually was enough. I could definitely eat more. Would love to! That is why I am a food addict.  I have irrational food thoughts. Irrational food emotions. However, just for today I am in recovery and in recovery it is important to remember that Quality is always better than Quantity.

Addiction ~ 0
Recovery ~ 1