My first memory of a true binge was at my moms house when I was about 11-ish. I remember standing in front of the fridge watching the tv in the living room and just feeling so alone and bored. There was a bag of chips on top of the fridge and I grabbed it. I began eating the chips one by one and then I just got crazed! I was stuffing the chips in my mouth, trying to fill my entire mouth with the crunchy salty nothingness. I was in a strange fog where I felt as though I was having an out of body experience. I watched my hand keep reaching into the bag, keep shoving more chips into my mouth. I don't remember if I quit because the bag was empty or because I suddenly 'woke up'. I believe that not only was that my first binge, but it was also my first high.
I have had bags of chips vanish as my hand mindlessly, but relentlessly, moved them from the bag to my mouth. It's scary. My best plan is to banish them from the house...no access, no relapse. I'm following your blog with interest as I've never thought of addiction counseling. Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank You. I definitely believe that I have a food addiction. Sugar and salt, etc. are all chemicals. The brain doesn't know the difference between the chemicals in pills or drugs or food. I read somewhere before that sugar triggers the same receptors in the brain that heroin triggers. Scary but in my opinion it feels true.
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