Skinny Jane

I was a very good looking lady in 2006. I really really was. However, if you saw me today you wouldn't know that I could have been beautiful. It is really a difficult thing to accept. I look older. I look unkempt and dumpy. Even on a good day I hate what I see in the mirror. The thing that is most interesting is that in 2003 I looked the same as I do today... sans gray hair coming in. I left my now ex husband and moved to Tennessee where I decided to take my life back. I began to do things that I was scared to do. If I hadn't done it before, I was all for it. I wasn't doing harmful things, just scary. For example, hiking in the woods straight up the side of a mountain at night with friends, a stick and the light from my cell phone screen. These were really forests. Not some mediocre state park. Black bears and mountain lions and ALL! I just simply never gave into a challenge. Lo and behold by 2006 I had lost 110 pounds. I was tanned with LONG sunkissed blonde hair and a brand new love for all things Jane. Then I was dumped, something I still don't think I am over, and I moved back to my prairieland, cornfed state. I immediately started gaining weight. In 3 months I gained 25 pounds and then after 4 months I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Uh oh. My sons father was an ex boyfriend that I used for self esteem sex..as I liked to call it. I never wanted a relationship with him because he is an ass... albeit a hott piece of ass. So, anyways, I quit partying, and smoking and everything I thought was fun and used as an escape. Except for food. My original and final addiction that I can't seem to overcome. I gained literally at least 10 pounds per month during my pregnancy. I was MISERABLE. Two years after the birth of my son I am a working, single mom and I am an honors student in college trying to get my A.A.S. in Medical Lab Technology. Life is wonderful. I want to enjoy it, though. I'm strugglingf to lose this weight before my son knows I am fat and becomes embarrassed of me. Also, before I die of a weight related illness, like heart disease. I will post pics very soon.